feels like shit

to be feeling this way. every since she broke up with him, it feels like she's been completely reliant on D for everything lar. it's like how a girl shares everything with her best friend.. and the deepest thoughts she has but expects them to keep it to themselves. it doesn't count when their married you know! they BBM-ing throughout the day, i don't even chat to him throughout the day unless there's something up.

i really thought this feeling will go away. i was hoping she will very quickly hook up with the guy she is hoping to have something with and leave D alone. it's not that i don't trust D... i just don't like the thought that she expects him to keep secrets from me. it's really too close for comfort.

i did something bad and check D's phone chat with her... and of course found stuff which seemed like they met up but didn't. you say that i should have told you about it how i felt instead of going through your phone... but seriously how? i think that either way you'll be annoyed and frustrated, just like how you were when i asked and told you i went through your phone. i did try sharing my insecurities with you... but in another way. i didn't bring this topic up. i asked if you were still attracted to me.... you made me feel better...much better. i guess i should have brought this up too but i didn't want to seem petty because i know it's nothing to you. you don't even know it.

i dunno which feeling is worst... wondering if you would just layan her and not tell me or that i should have just kept it with myself until the one day she'll hook up with someone and leave u alone. i thought i won't have these feelings of insecurity after i'm married... guess what? VERY wrong.

you think i'd be cool about it... i was at the beginning until she asked you to keep things from me.... yes not that you would but still. and yes it sucks to feel this way...sucks big time